Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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