matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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