Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
