We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
