Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
