Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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