god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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