I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize