They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
