Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
