the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
