Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
