I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
