Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
