Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
