worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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