what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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