My brain says no but my pants say off.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Never joke about your clitoris.
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