oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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