So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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