I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
