I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
