Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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