DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
