I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
