friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
His nipple licking is glorious
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