Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
