In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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