physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
