no, he came in my armpit
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
