I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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