i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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