and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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