I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
