Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
