Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
