I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize