I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
