at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
