I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
