I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We need to get me chipped asap
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
