you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
