It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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