that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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