Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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