FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
