They should really pass out barf bags in church
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
