that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think i have herpe
just one?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize