Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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