i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
