This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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