dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
