Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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