I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
