I need help removing her.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
