sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My life is pants optional.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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