we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
