As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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