Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
