Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
we should paint friendship bongs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
