I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
