Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
